im about as happy as oj after his trial
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
