he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
