last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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