can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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