Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
