I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Sorry about my life...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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