i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
