am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Four minutes until I can fart!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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