I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
thus making me awesome and them whores
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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