his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize