After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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