my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
