Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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