I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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