you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
