Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
