Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
