wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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