Duck Duck Cougar?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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