And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
