I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize