Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
