Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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