well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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