I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
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It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
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Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
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