This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
