Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
