Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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