a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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