Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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