I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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