man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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