Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
