hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm like, not good at living.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
