No awkward lesbian experiences without me
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
