You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
