"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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