I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
