I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Operation Purity has been aborted
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize