So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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