So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
