I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
