I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
