woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
