Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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