Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
