when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.