This is not my ceiling
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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