also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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