do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
