Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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