last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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