I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
