There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow