Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.

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  (905): My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me. http://tfl.nu/adnf
  Replies (16) Good night (898) Bad night (4530)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.

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  (305): Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming. http://tfl.nu/4nef
  Replies (51) Good night (8614) Bad night (825)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face

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  (+49): Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face http://tfl.nu/4iya
  Replies (26) Good night (11628) Bad night (1931)
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  (+54): View more from

  My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed

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  (+54): My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed http://tfl.nu/m32v
  Replies (30) Good night (8252) Bad night (1074)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me

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  (404): haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me http://tfl.nu/9ei1
  Replies (2) Good night (2125) Bad night (903)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.

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  (770): If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them. http://tfl.nu/edqp
  Replies (9) Good night (4768) Bad night (1055)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.

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  (816): I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/d5bh
  Replies (3) Good night (2517) Bad night (1069)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...

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  (325): She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised... http://tfl.nu/ztyt
  Replies (38) Good night (3965) Bad night (2197)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.

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  (706): Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain. http://tfl.nu/4t48
  Replies (11) Good night (2328) Bad night (849)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.

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  (413): Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens. (1-413): A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck. http://tfl.nu/qib0
  Replies (9) Good night (1351) Bad night (501)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles

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  (612): I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles http://tfl.nu/axk7
  Replies (0) Good night (982) Bad night (362)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on

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  (609): Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on http://tfl.nu/f543
  Replies (2) Good night (762) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm about to be a big disappointment.

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  (405): Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake. (405): I'm about to be a big disappointment. http://tfl.nu/y7r2
  Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (255)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out

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  (303): Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out http://tfl.nu/8vt2
  Replies (2) Good night (233) Bad night (498)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime

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  (+61): We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime http://tfl.nu/tsil
  Replies (1) Good night (366) Bad night (277)

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