Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?

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(845): I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back? http://tfl.nu/r4ga

Replies (4) Good night (1458) Bad night (540)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.

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(856): i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall. http://tfl.nu/yfss

Replies (66) Good night (5751) Bad night (1590)
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(415): View more from California

Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.

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(415): Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it. http://tfl.nu/inu8

Replies (10) Good night (5364) Bad night (712)
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(757): View more from Virginia

my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers

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(757): my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers http://tfl.nu/1x7e

Replies (24) Good night (795) Bad night (5635)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.

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(402): Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then. http://tfl.nu/941i

Replies (24) Good night (5110) Bad night (1178)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"

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(479): the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is" http://tfl.nu/kt8o

Replies (11) Good night (2649) Bad night (962)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

As in ill only blow him next week

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(403): I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow (403): As in ill only blow him next week http://tfl.nu/dd9t

Replies (14) Good night (3165) Bad night (965)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.

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(815): Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool. http://tfl.nu/9aum

Replies (12) Good night (3208) Bad night (1074)
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(830): View more from Texas

I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.

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(830): I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won. http://tfl.nu/nmjn

Replies (20) Good night (3180) Bad night (1313)
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(408): View more from California

I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.

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(408): I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER. http://tfl.nu/adi1

Replies (7) Good night (1460) Bad night (673)
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(815): View more from Illinois

High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...

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(815): High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes... http://tfl.nu/ssal

Replies (5) Good night (1447) Bad night (539)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..

(973): View more from New Jersey

We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..

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(201): I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again.. (973): We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks.. http://tfl.nu/kzt5

Replies (4) Good night (1688) Bad night (501)
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(614): View more from Ohio

We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"

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(614): We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us" http://tfl.nu/w1ue

Replies (1) Good night (1197) Bad night (450)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard

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(201): This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard http://tfl.nu/udfw

Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (497)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about

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(781): I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about http://tfl.nu/ocbn

Replies (4) Good night (457) Bad night (688)

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