Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just high enough for therapy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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