Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
