my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
