My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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