That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
